Signs your girlfriend Suspects that You’re a Closet Animal Lover

10: When she comes over to your house, she runs into your room with a sledge hammer and bashes your German Shepherd, Shasha, all the while saying, “Stop trying to steal my boyfriend, you fucking BITCH!!!!”

9: When she comes over to your house she ignores you and snuggles up to your Schnauzer(the DOG, you pervert!!!!) says “Hello, handsome, wanna play?” in order to make you jealous.

8: She buys you a chain and a leash for your birthday and instead of the usual necktie.

7: You tell her that you went to goof off for a while and rushes to the phone, checking out all of the zoos, animal shelters and stables in the area for any “unusual activity that happened within 24 hours.”

6: She took you to the vet instead of the doctor when you got sick with the flu.

5: She won’t let you on the couch any more….

4: When you tell her you sleep with the dog, she hopes that’s all you do.

3: Whenever a hot sexy dogwalker passes by the two of you, she gets jealous of the dogs, not the chick.

2: You spend countless hours that the guy in the internet picture fucking a dog is not you and it was your evil twin brother (yeah right!!!) who is trying to break up your relationship.

And the number one sign that Your Girlfriend suspects that you are a closet Animal Lover…

1: You wake up from a wild night of having sex with her and discover that she had you locked up in a cage with a doghouse while you were sleeping.

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Max Satisfaction

This is a true story. In fact, it just happened a few weeks ago….

I went back to the old countryside to visit my family and friends last summer. During my stay there, I went down to see one of my good friends for a weekend of hanging out and partying. His name is Andy, he’s married. No kids except for a 3 year old male Rottweiler named Max who is all dog and very friendly.

Well, that first night, we all went out drinking and got ourselves screwed drunk! At the end of the night, our buddies dropped us off at the house. I was to sleep on the big couch in the living room, so my friend went to his room to get me a pillow and blanket. When he came back, Max had followed him out to the living room and immediately started to play with me. Andy asked me if I wanted to put Max in the garage for the night, and I said, “No” that he could sleep out here the living room with me. My buddy was fine with that, so he threw me a blanket, said goodnight and closed his bedroom door (and probably passed out. We ALL were that drunk. ).

Well, I was feeling kinda warm. So, I stripped myself down to my boxers and hopped onto the couch. Well, Max came right over and started licking my face. Lying on the couch, I tried to pet him and within seconds, I had a boner. Guess I was *SO* turned on by having this huge dog try and lick my face that I wondered what it would be like to have him on top of me doing that.

With very little coaxing, I had Max jump up on the couch with me and he laid right on top of me, his face in mine. So, now I have this 90 pound dog on me, and he started licking my face. I opened my mouth and his tongue went right in. It felt so awesome! I just kept my mouth open and the next thing you know, I was making out with Max! I was sucking on his tongue and French kissing him as he slurped my face. It was so intimate and so intensely erotic to be doing this with such a powerful animal! I felt so much like an animal and he really seemed to enjoy it. For what seemed like forever, we lay there swapping spit, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, locked in an erotic animalistic embrace. It was so awesome because kissing is something I love doing with another guy and this took it to a whole new level!

Well, needless to say, my dong was rock hard having this 90 pound horny dog on me, so, I slid my hands down underneath his body and found his cock, I started to rub it and it instantly got hard and came out of his sheath. He started to try and hump, which was kinda uncomfortable with him on top of me on the couch, so I managed to push him off onto the floor.

I got down next to him and put my face under his belly. His musky scent filled my nostrils and I went right for his cock. Next think you know, I had it in my mouth, slurping his doggy cum up as fast as I could. He kept trying to hump my face so after a minute or two, I stopped. I was so horny that I had to get off!!! On my knees, I started jerking Max off. In seconds, he was humping my hand. I focused on getting him off first because I knew I was gonna cum as soon I started on myself. Within a few minutes, my hand was covered in dog cum. It was so hot holding that fat dog cock as it pulsed juices out all over the place. I held his cock right below his huge knot and ‘milked that cock’ as he came.

When he was almost finished cuming, I let go of his cock and started licking his cum off my hand. The intense musky dog smell almost made me cum right there! Max immediately lay down in front of me and started licking himself clean as I started to jerk off. Well I came hard and fast and shot my load all over his belly! As I kneeled there, my head swimming from my orgasm and my buzz, Max continued to clean himself clean, and that included slurping up my cum along with his own. SHIT!!! It was fucking hot!!!! A few minutes later, I crawled back onto the couch and was sound asleep, with Max on the floor by my side.

I cannot wait to do it again another night.

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All right fans, here is it the long awaited other version of the Signs. Comment, suggestions and criticisms are allowed. Feel free to laugh your head off. And if enough replies are posted, I might even add more. Anyway, enjoy them! I know, I did while doing it.
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Signs Your Boyfriend is a Secret Animal Lover

10. When YOU come over to HIS house, his female Doberman acts as though she’s some jealous girlfriend wanting to rip the neck of the other bitch that sleeps with HER mate aka YOU.

9. You take a peek at his Palm top by stealth and learn that the real reason he was out at the race derbies was to meet someone named ‘Apple’ only to discover later that Apple was not one of the jockeys but was actually a REAL horse.

8. His DVD collection now consists of the following titles: Humping with Lassie, Fuck Willy, and The Horse of Zorro.

7. Having sex with him in “doggy-style” actually involves a REAL dog.

6. He is happy when you tell him about you have to go away for the weekend and you need him to look after your dog. The dog also seems to be awfully “excited and happy” for some reason.

5. When he says he sleeps with his dog, you hope that’s all she does.

4: He actually prefers watching Animal Planet than spending time with his X-box.

3: You discover that is actually a VERY active member of this website. And he’s been sending pictures and stories about bestiality for quite sometime now. (Hmmm, now WHO could that be…? *hint* *hint*).

2. He keeps on explaning to you that “Kitty cat” is his pet name for your uh, pussy and and he doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that your cat is pregnant.

And the number one sign that Your Boyfriend is a Secret Animal Lover…..

1. He keeps on having wet dreams involving some nasty four-legged ladies from the Police’s K9 Department..

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